Parents and teachers spend an enormous amount of time thinking about how to frame feedback for kids. We’re torn between the desire to teach and the urge to protect children from pain. In an attempt to make feedback palatable, we dress it up in pretty outfits, sand down its sharp corners and construct feedback sandwiches of critical meat between slices of fluffy and comforting praise.
We all face criticism, both constructive and destructive, but how we deal with that criticism determines whether we persevere and learn from experience or crumple under the weight of our own self-loathing and despair. Receiving feedback is a skill, and like most skills, it requires practice, and a willingness to change and improve. Most children get plenty of practice. Ironically, adults need to help them make that practice count — by giving them feedback on how they handle criticism.
1) Don’t hesitate to offer feedback.
2) Back off on constant praise. - Don't over use praise... it is helpful but so is acknowledging the parts they feel upset about and letting the feelings be there without a "fix"
3) Watch your body language.- be open not critical uncross your arms!
4) Switch up your pronouns.- help them share their feelings not just reflect yours
5) Formulate new goals after a big failure.- Hope about future success and opportunities to do well is very powerful and empowering.
Reposted By:
Dr. Charles R. Davenport
Licensed Psychologist
Charles R. Davenport, Psy.D. LLC.
Phone: 941-321-1971
www.drcharlesdavenport.com
Venice Office
1525 Tamiami Trail S.
Ste. 603 A
Venice, FL 34285
Sarasota Office
950 South Tamiami Trail
Ste 202
Sarasota, FL 34236
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